Comic Relief

The last couple of days have been a little stressful and sad. So this evening, when Dave threatened, as usual, to clean up the girls' room for them, I didn't think much of it. He went through the theatrics of going out to the garage to get The Black Trash Bag, as incentive for them to pick up their toys. Alison must have decided to do something about it. A few minutes later I heard banging on the garage door and saw Alison hightailing it out of the kitchen. She had locked Dave out of the house. I'm guessing it would be inappropriate for me to laugh?

The Circle of Life

Yesterday my grandma passed away. She was like a second mother to me and we were always very close. Naturally, I was very, very sad. When I picked Alison up from preschool, I explained to her that Avo Mai (great-grandma) had died and gone to heaven and that mommy was really sad about it. Of course, Alison had a very pragmatic view on the whole situation. She turned to me and said, "EVERYONE dies. One day, you will die and I will be sad... And then, I will die and my kids will be sad." Crap, she hasn't even seen The Lion King movie...since when has she subscribed to the whole circle of life philosophy? My kids constantly amaze me with how inherently smart they are. They must have gotten it from my grandma.

Top Secret

Reading past posts, I've come to realize that the posts about Amanda are few and far between. Like any parent who is very aware about trying to be fair and evenhanded, I now feel the need to defend my apparent lack of "blog love" for her.

Amanda has reached the age where she now realizes that there is lots of interesting information on the computer. I often feel a presence lurking over my shoulder as I waste time checking mail and looking at Facebook. The other day she startled me as I was looking up important information at http://tmz.com by asking, "Mom, why do you need to know about Celebrity Gossip?!" Ack! Outed. And to the utter dismay of Dave, the other day we noticed in our browsing history that "someone", someone who is 8 years old and too young to care, had Googled the name of a boy in third grade!

Since being 8 years old is all about being "cool", I have to be very careful about what I post about her lest her "coolness quotient" decline. God forbid one of her classmates read my blog (like they even care, since I never once talk about anything important like www.justinbiebermusic.com). So, I write this post while furtively looking over my shoulder...hoping that my secret isn't found out!

Pick Me! Pick Me!

Alison recently celebrated her 5th birthday. Among the loot she amassed were a few gift cards. Today I took her to Toys R Us to redeem one of those cards. We walked aisle, by aisle so she could decide what to spend her dough on. We walked through the princess aisle...no interest. We walked through the Barbie aisle...no interest. We walked through the Hello Kitty aisle, doll aisle, Lego aisle, and craft aisle...no interest. Finally, as we looped around the store she found just what she always wanted...

Yes, she picked the "Ned's Head" game. A fun, family game where you shove your hands into Ned's facial orifices to find all sorts of assorted goodies like stinky cheese and barf! I'm sure the parents of the child who gave us that gift card would approve.

Cindy Lou Chu!

With Amanda 4 years older than Alison and 6 years older than Alexa, she is a definite role model for them. They admire her and look up to her for everything. Most recently, Amanda has become their fashion icon. Since Amanda wears knee high socks to school, both Alison and Alexa have started demanding wearing their own mini versions.

With Amanda's hair getting longer and longer for hula, she has taken to wearing it in a ponytail. Since she is their fashion icon, Alison and Alexa have started asking to wear their hair in ponytails too. Luckily, Alison has enough hair to wear a ponytail...Alexa, not so much. But this doesn't stop her from trying. Hence, sisters separated at birth? You be the judge...

God's Plan

Both Dave and myself are the products of good, ole, Catholic education. When we had Amanda, we did a lot of research into the public schools in our area, and after some debate, decided that our kids would also have a Catholic education. So, starting in preschool, Amanda attended Catholic school and now Alison is as well. Over the years Dave and I have literally spent thousands of dollars on their religious education, with many more thousands in the foreseeable future.

Tonight, we were able to see where some of that money went. Alison got in trouble for not cleaning up a mess she made. Tearfully, she came up to me and cried, "That's the way God made me!" Confused, I asked, "What?" Louder, Alison cried, "That's the way God made me...NAUGHTY!"

So, when all else fails...blame God.

Santa Claus Is Coming to Town

When I was little, starting right after Thanksgiving, my parents would begin threatening us that if we weren't good Santa would leave us a lump of coal in our stocking. One year, probably just as I was beginning to question the logic of a big, magic, man traversing the globe in one night, I actually DID get a lump of real coal in my stocking. My parents probably did this to scare me into believing for the benefit of my younger siblings. To this day, I am still traumatized and shamed by that morning when I reached into my stocking and pulled out my sooty hand filled with charcoal from our BBQ.

Now that I have kids, I find myself making those same threats, "Santa's watching you!", "If you're not good, you might find a lump of coal in your stocking!" Today, while shopping at Target I found this:

Coal shaped bubble gum! I actually bought a sack. I plan on giving it to all three girls in their Advent calendar on a particularly naughty day. Hopefully, being gum, it won't traumatize them as much as actual coal but will have the same scared straight effect. I suppose, if it does traumatize them, they can just add it to my bill for their adult therapy.